IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001.

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001.
The graph below
provids
Correct your spelling
provides
 information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
workes
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
 from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more
due to
Linking Words
 illness from 1991 to 2001. In
this
Linking Words
 topic, I will write about what I see in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 shows.
First,
Linking Words
the rate of people absent in the
Nethrlands
Correct your spelling
Netherlands
 in 1991 it to about 4.09 , and it increased by nearly 5.05 in 1992 . And the
percentage
Use synonyms
 continued to decline until 1996 to about 4.05. And the degree continued to rise until 2001 to about 5.05.
Second,
Linking Words
the rate of people absent in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France in 1991 it 5.00 , almost the same as in 1992.
moreover
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people
absnet
Correct your spelling
absent
 in 1993
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
decreased to about 4.02. the same as in 1993. And the
percentage
Use synonyms
 continued to decline until 1996 to 3.00, the same as in 1997 to 2001. Third, the
propotions
Correct your spelling
proportions
 are close in all years in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Germany by nearly 2.00.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 94%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: