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Writing Samples
Band 5

Process diagrams can show cyclic processes like the life cycle of a pond frog from egg to adult.

Process diagrams can show cyclic processes like the life cycle of a pond frog from egg to adult.
The provided process chart depicts the development of a
frog
Use synonyms
 living in
pond
Correct article usage
a pond
show examples
beginnig
Correct your spelling
beginning
 with the egg
stage
Use synonyms
 and ending in adulthood.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that the
illusration
Correct your spelling
illustration
 is a life cycle process, which consists of 8 stages.
The first step is
Linking Words
 that eggs produced by an adult
frog
Use synonyms
 turn into embryos. After a
while
Linking Words
, tadpoles emerge from the embryos and cling to water plants. In the fourth
stage
Use synonyms
, tadpoles develop external gills for breathing.
Additionally
Linking Words
, their
tail
Use synonyms
 keeps on getting longer. For the sixth
stage
Use synonyms
 hindlegs appear. A still not fully developed
frog
Use synonyms
 feeds on the food stored in its
tail
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 starts the period, when a pond
frog
Use synonyms
 has not only hindlegs
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 front legs. The
tail
Use synonyms
 that kept growing in the fifth
stage
Use synonyms
becomes
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 shorter.
Consequently
Linking Words
, if a
frog
Use synonyms
 has legs and
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
tail
Use synonyms
 it becomes a young
frog
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
during
Change preposition
after
show examples
 a few
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the
frog
Use synonyms
 gets a bigger body and turns into an adult
frog
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words frog, stage, tail with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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