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Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below shows the results of a recent survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a recent survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart demonstrates the cause of
absence
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the absence
show examples
 of students in
british
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British
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 schools from a recent study.
Overall
Linking Words
, the major factor of
absetenism
Correct your spelling
absenteeism
 is
due to
Linking Words
professional
Correct article usage
the professional
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 responsibility of both parents
whereas
Linking Words
, the least recorded reason for
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
 students missing
school
Use synonyms
 is their home training.
Bulluing
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Bullying
 and peer pressure had a tie. The research showed that when both guardians of a
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
 student have jobs, the child has a high chance of missing
school
Use synonyms
 more frequently. It was recorded that nearly half of the excuses given for
school
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 missing
school
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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due to
Linking Words
 working
parent
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parents
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 followed by lack of
school
Use synonyms
 discipline which made up a
quater
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quarter
 of the reasons.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, home training of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 had the lowest answers for missing
school
Use synonyms
. it made up 5% of the causes of
Correct article usage
the asbence
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asbence
Correct your spelling
absence
 of
school
Use synonyms
 children.
Influence
Correct article usage
The influence
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 of bad friends and bullying of students in
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
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 had the same proportions of 15% each.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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