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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarize where relevant

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarize where relevant
The bar chart depicts the level of leisure
time
Use synonyms
 spent by two different genders in various employment statuses. The
group
Use synonyms
 of professions consist of six different categories
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 full-
time
Use synonyms
worker
Use synonyms
, part-
time
Use synonyms
worker
Use synonyms
, unemployed, retired, and housewife.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that male employees spent leisure
time
Use synonyms
 more than females in three different groups,
whereas
Linking Words
 in the rest of the two
Use synonyms
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
, females surpassed others.
According to
Linking Words
 the image, the highest period enjoyed by men came from the unemployed cluster, with an average of around 84, followed by the retired club at 83, making it the second place of period consuming. The third club was coming from full-
time
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
, which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for 43.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there was no free
time
Use synonyms
 spent by part-
time
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 and housewives for
this
Linking Words
 category. Compared to females, the unemployed
group
Use synonyms
 had the same leisure
time
Use synonyms
 number as much as the retired
group
Use synonyms
, with 79 of each value, making it the highest amount of all. And
also
Linking Words
, the second place was the housewife category, which had one-fifth higher than part-
time
Use synonyms
 employees, with just 50 and 40 amount of
time
Use synonyms
 respectively. The
last
Linking Words
 category was full-
time
Use synonyms
 employees, which was calculated at 38.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, group, worker with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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