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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of share of total world production by Asia, Europe and other parts of the world from the years 1840 to 2000.(Anelya1)

The bar chart below shows the percentage of share of total world production by Asia, Europe and other parts of the world from the years 1840 to 2000.(Anelya1)
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of total global
production
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 contributed by
Asia
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,
Europe
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, and other regions between 1840 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
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apply
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Asia
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 and
the
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Europe
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 experienced a fluctuation throughout the
periods
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period
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,
while
Linking Words
 the other parts of the world saw an
increase
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increasing
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 trend. In 1840, products made in
Asia
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 dominated
the
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world
production
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, accounting for 50% of the
share
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, followed by
the
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Europe
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 products with 40%,
while
Linking Words
 the remaining parts of the
wolrd
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world
 contributed to only one-tenth.
However
Linking Words
, in the next
40-year
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40 years
,
the
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Asia
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production
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 gradually decreased to 20% in 1920, before climbing up to 10% lower than the highest frequency of its
production
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 in 1840. Compared to
Asia
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,
the
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apply
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Europe
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 saw an increased trend from
the
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apply
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1880 to 1920, with the highest
production
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 reaching half of the global total
share
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, before plummeting to just under 30% in 2000. In terms of the
others region
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other regions
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, it gradually increased throughout the period and dominated the world
share
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 in 1960, reaching the peak of almost four-tenth of the total
share
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 in 1960, before
experienceing
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experiencing
 a few decrease to just over three-tenth.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, asia, europe, share with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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