IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, school should not force them to learn foreign languages. To what extend to you agree and disagree?

As society developed,
languages
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language
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 learning has become one of the most crucial
part
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parts
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in
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of
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 school learning. Though many studies
suggested
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suggest
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 that foreign
language
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 learning
enhanced
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enhances
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students
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'
intelligenece
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intelligence
 development, I still do not think that
laguage
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language
 learning should be considered
as
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apply
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a
neccessary
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necessary
 part
in
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of
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 childhood. One of the primary
reason
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reasons
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 is that
implentating
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implantation
implementing
implanting
 foreign
language
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 learning in very young
Use synonyms
kid
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kids
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 will have
negative
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a negative
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 influence on their mother tongue learning. As a recent
study
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 from Harvard presented, if a
kid
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 is raised
up
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apply
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in a bilingual environment from
very
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a very
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 young age, he or she might show a relatively weaker academic performance in his or her mother tongue learning, as his or her
language
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 system will be in
mess
Correct article usage
a mess
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. Before setting up a mature system to understand the world,
kids
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 who are forced to
study
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 another
language
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in
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at
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 a young age will lead to a mixture of
language
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system
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systems
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, which will significantly affect the way that
kids
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 understand the world.
Thus
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, for the sake of mother tongue development, foreign
language
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 should not be a compulsory subject in
schools
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.
On the other hand
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, for some
kids
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, learning
foreign
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a foreign
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language
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 is
streessful
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stressful
 and probably has
unexpected
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an unexpected
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 influence on
students
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' mental health. Considering
an
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the
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 example of Jack, who can do well in many subjects just except English, he might feel angry and
started
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start
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 to reject
to learn
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learning
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 English, or even develop a hate toward foreign
language
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 learning. When the learning pressure
exceed
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exceeds
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 the sense of achievement, the hate towards
to
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studying
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study
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 and anxiety might appear, which might develop
to
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into
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 mental health issues in the end.
Last
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 but not least, if
schools
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 can transfer their attention
on
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from
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 forcing
students
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 to learn foreign
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language
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languages
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 to
other aspect
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another aspect
other aspects
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 of growth, it is more likely for
schools
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 to find their own strengths and make achievements in education.
Instead
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 of hiring a lot of foreign
language
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 teachers,
schools
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 can spend the expenditure on purchasing instruments, applying new curriculum systems and organizing field studies. Every
kid
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 has their own strength,
thus
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 a universal curriculum is just an ideal. The task of school in education is to facilitate the
study
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 of each
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kids
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kid
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, helping them to find their own
stength
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strength
,
instead
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 of producing similar educational products. As mentioned above, not only because not every
kid
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 is suitable for foreign
language
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 learning, but
also
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consider
Verb problem
because of
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 the resources allocation
as well as
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negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 effects of learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
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language
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,
schools
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 should not force
students
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 to learn
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
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 anyway in my opinion. An ideal education should respect every
differences
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difference
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 and try to support
students
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' own growth,
thus
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, foreign
language
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 learning should not be compulsory in
schools
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.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your position. Use phrases like 'I agree' or 'I disagree' to clarify your view.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words (like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'however') to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Provide more examples and specific details to support your main points.
content
You presented several relevant points against compulsory language learning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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