IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show the online sales for retail sectors in a South American country in 2009 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts show the distribution of the type of online sales in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, each pie chart consisted of the four types of products, trips,
film
Use synonyms
 /
music
Use synonyms
, books and clothes.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the highest group in 2003, trips, ranked in the second highest position in 2013. Specifically, in 2003, travelling sales accounted for 36% and the others are as follows: 24% (clothes), 21% (
film
Use synonyms
 /
music
Use synonyms
) and 19% (books).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these proportions transformed in 2013 as the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
film
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 content surged to 33%, and that of trips decreased to 29%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the remaining two genres
also
Linking Words
 experienced
percentage
Use synonyms
 changes.
For example
Linking Words
, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 books slightly increased from 19% to 22%, and that of garments decreased from 24% to 16%. In comparison, the highest position was exchanged between the two groups (travelling products and
film
Use synonyms
 /
music
Use synonyms
). What is more, the largest
percentage
Use synonyms
 change was measured in the section
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
film
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 as its proportion increased by 12
percentage
Use synonyms
 points.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words film, music, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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