IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With a great variety of social networking websites, people often add complete stranger s to their lists. Do you think that this tendency helps people to find new friends or it's just a mean to increase their self-esteem. Justify your opinion with relevant examples.

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Introduction
Many hold the view that adding
stranger
Use synonyms
 persons to their list is
is
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
to know
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
adding strange
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 is just to
increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 and
modifying
Wrong verb form
modify
show examples
 their self-esteem. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both perspectives and present my own.
Body paragraph 1
People
Use synonyms
 often attend to adding strange
people
Use synonyms
 to their list
social
Change preposition
of social
show examples
 networking websites to find new friends. There a different types of lists based on the platform,
this
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 share their
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 and find someone
like
Change preposition
with
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 interests.
Body paragraph 2
For example
Linking Words
, my friend is
so
Rephrase
very
show examples
 shy in real
life
Use synonyms
 and she
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
 that building
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
 and
introduce
Wrong verb form
introducing
show examples
 herself is so hard and complex for her, so finding
people
Use synonyms
 and friends on
platform
Add an article
the platform
a platform
show examples
 more easier than in real
life
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
is make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 her take her own time to know and understand other person before meeting him in real
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
why
Add a missing verb
is why
show examples
 adding
Use synonyms
stranger
Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
show examples
 is sometimes helpful
to find
Change preposition
in finding
show examples
 friends.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that adding
Use synonyms
stranger
Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
show examples
 to their
listi
Correct your spelling
list
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
completely
to increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 their self-esteem by making them follow their
Use synonyms
life's
Change noun form
life
show examples
. To clarify,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous and important
people
Use synonyms
 because of their content and knowledge like scientists.
For example
Linking Words
, there
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
person who
don't
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn't
show examples
 do
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good content but
adding
Wrong verb form
adds
show examples
Use synonyms
stranger
Replace the word
strange
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to become famous, the
people
Use synonyms
 don't like him because he
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 just to impress
people
Use synonyms
 without
benefit
Wrong verb form
benefiting
show examples
 them.
Conclusion
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion, adding
Use synonyms
stranger
Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
show examples
is have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 different
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 and consequences either to increase
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
 or to help shy
people
Use synonyms
.

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Task Response
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. Present both sides of the argument clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph. This will help the reader follow your main ideas better.
Language Accuracy
Check your grammar and sentence structure; some sentences are hard to understand. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article use.
Content
You provided personal examples which help to illustrate your points. This makes your essay relatable.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social networking
  • geographical boundaries
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • professional aspirations
  • communities
  • perspectives
  • cultural exchanges
  • empathy
  • global awareness
  • self-esteem
  • validation
  • quantity vs quality
  • superficial relationships
  • emotional support
  • companionship
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