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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the honey bee. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The flowchart provides essential information about the honey bee life cycle.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the diagram that the honey bee’s journey is a multi-stage, closed-loop process, beginning with females laying one or two eggs every three
days
Use synonyms
 and ending with the emergence of young adult honey bees.
In addition
Linking Words
, the entire process takes between 34 and 36
days
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the diagram, in the first stage, the eggs can begin to hatch after 9 or 10
days
Use synonyms
. Following that, several
days
Use synonyms
 are spent growing and developing before the formation of the nymph, which
molts
Change the spelling
moults
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 three times as it grows. In the second part of the journey, the nymph turns into a young adult, who only needs about 4
days
Use synonyms
 to reach maturity and is able to lay between one and two eggs every 3
days
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words days with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life cycle
  • laying of eggs
  • queen bee
  • hatch into larvae
  • rapid growth
  • develop into pupae
  • significant transformation
  • emergence of the adult bee
  • matures fully
  • cyclical nature
  • colony’s survival
  • reproduction process
  • subsequent generations
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