IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in Australia, divided into three categories, from 2001- 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
minutes
Use synonyms
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phone calls in Australia from2001 to 2008 divided into three sections.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 local calls
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 taken
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fisrt
Correct your spelling
first
 place since 2001,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national and international
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
second,
Linking Words
and mobiles are
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
third. local calls in 2001
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 72
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
, it kept increasing till 2005
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 have become 90
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
.
then
Linking Words
 it
starts
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 decreasing to 72
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 2008,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
mobiles
Change the noun form
mobile
show examples
 calls
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
jumped from 2
billion
Use synonyms
 to 46
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 is a very big increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 number,
while
Linking Words
 the national and international calls
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 38
billion
Use synonyms
 and
climmed
Correct your spelling
climbed
 to 61
billion
Use synonyms
minutes
Use synonyms
 by 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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