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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over of three countries in 1980 and 2000 and prediction in 2030

The bar chart below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over of three countries in 1980 and 2000 and prediction in 2030
The bar chart
provide
Change the verb form
provides
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 the people who
65
Add a missing verb
are 65
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 or over years old in three states in 1980 and 2000 and what we
expected
Wrong verb form
expect
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 in 2030.
overall
Linking Words
,
Germany
Use synonyms
 was the highest among these areas in 2000,
also
Linking Words
, in 2030, the percentage of people aged 65 and over in
Germany
Use synonyms
 will still be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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larges
Correct your spelling
large
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. In 1980, the population in Canada was 10% and it is the lowest percentage among the three countries,
while
Linking Words
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
Correct article usage
the Uk
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Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
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 stood at 10%, 15%. By 2000, the percentages of the elderly in these areas saw a growth, ranging from about 2% to 5%. In terms of prediction in 2030,
Canda
Correct your spelling
Canada
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 will increase rapidly from 15% to about 23% and in
Use synonyms
Germany
Add a comma
Germany,
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 The proportion of elderly people is expected to increase to 25% ,
while
Linking Words
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 will remain
about
Change preposition
at about
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 16%

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words germany with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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