IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

1.Some people choose a career according to the social status, or salary. Others choose a career according to their interests. So what do you think is the best what to choose a career? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many people
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 their
job
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 social status,
whell
Correct your spelling
while
 others
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 it
baesd
Correct your spelling
based
 on the salary, and some people
baesd
Correct your spelling
based
 on their
interests
Use synonyms
, and I believe
this
Linking Words
 is the right thing to do if you want a happy life pick a
job
Use synonyms
 that
suts
Correct your spelling
suits
 your
interests
Use synonyms
, and
that is
Linking Words
 will help you to stay in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good mental
health
Use synonyms
 . From my standpoint, I think choosing a career that fits your
interests
Use synonyms
 could be the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
healthest
Correct your spelling
healthiest
 thing to do for your mental
health
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because if you are working on something you love you will be happy during working hours and your
taskes
Correct your spelling
tasks
 will be done more
easliy
Correct your spelling
easily
, because you are doing them with love, and all of that because of your
interests
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 will impact on your
health
Use synonyms
 if you are comfortable at your
job
Use synonyms
 and you are doing something you love,
as a result
Linking Words
 of that you will be in a good mood most of the time and your mental
health
Use synonyms
 will be
stabel
Correct your spelling
stable
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 the person
how
Correct word choice
who
show examples
 loves to couck and he is working as a
chife
Correct your spelling
chief
chef
 in a
resturant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
, it can be seen that he is in a good mood most of the time and when he
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 home he is full of energy, and
tha
Correct your spelling
that
 is because he was having fun at work. To summarize, choosing a
job
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 your
interests
Use synonyms
 will impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your mental
health
Use synonyms
,
as a result
Linking Words
 of the way you feel about your
job
Use synonyms
 which is something you should do every day so you must feel
pationt
Correct your spelling
patient
 about it as what I think.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize your main points in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use better sentence structures and consider using more varied vocabulary to improve readability.
task achievement
Make sure to support your ideas with clear examples that are directly related to your main points.
task achievement
You have a clear preference for choosing a career based on interests, which shows a strong personal viewpoint.
task achievement
You provided an example of a chef, which is good to illustrate your point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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