IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. Why is this what effect does this have on society?

It is
undeniable
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an undeniable
the undeniable
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 fact that
a
Correct article usage
apply
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very few students in role in the university with the scientific
subjects
Use synonyms
 in several countries. In recent times, the high cost of courses and the inadequate amount of practical
approach
Fix the agreement mistake
approaches
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 at schools are the major causes of
this
Linking Words
 trend. The major impacts are
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of professionals in
this
Linking Words
 field and escalating competition among other sectors. The primary reason why individuals avoid opting
some
Change preposition
for some
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subjects
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
colleges is that the fees for
science related
Add a hyphen
science-related
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 programmes
is
Change the verb form
are
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 very expensive
due to
Linking Words
 which most of the deserving candidates look for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other fields of study in order to pursue higher education with the particle costs.
For instance
Linking Words
, the chairman of
University
Correct article usage
the University
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 of Alberta revealed in a podcast that numerous students divert their educational goals because of
lods
Correct your spelling
lots
 of money needed to be
expensed
Verb problem
spent
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in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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medical courses.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, lesser concentration is paid
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 practicals than theoretical concepts in secondary schools in
result
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the result
a result
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 of which the mentees are less interested in medical and engineering
subjects
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. Eventually, they are not keen to opt
these
Change preposition
for these
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subjects
Use synonyms
. Turning to the effects, lack of professionals in future would lead to serious repercussions in society
lukewise
Correct your spelling
likewise
 inappropriate and less
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 will be held,
healthcare
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the healthcare
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 sector will suffer et cetera.
This
Linking Words
 will trouble the individuals to get proper treatments against ailments and the world will be unable to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
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with the scientific problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a significant decline in admission of students in science
subjects
Use synonyms
 will lead to escalation of sectors of commerce and economics which will increase the competition in these sectors resulting in saturation of the fields and unemployment of the related graduates. In conclusion, the provoking reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 practice are expensive courses and negligence of practical knowledge at educational institutes. The lack of scientific professionals and
boom
Correct article usage
the boom
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 in other fields are the impacts of
this
Linking Words
 tendency.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your paragraphs.
task achievement
Include a few more details or examples to better support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check grammar and spelling to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You present a clear topic and main ideas about the reasons and impacts.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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