Some people think that several short holidays from school are better, while others think one long summer holiday for the year is better for children. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and relevant examples from your experience.

Some people believe that several short holidays from
school
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are better,
while
Linking Words
others think one long
summer
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holiday
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for the
year
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is better for
children
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. I think a long
summer
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holiday
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for the
year
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is better because in the
year
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they can
focus
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Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
on studying
show examples
at
school
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. On the one hand, some people think that several short holidays from
school
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are better because they think the
children
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will have time
relax
Fix the infinitive
to relax
show examples
and
focus
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for
Change preposition
on studying
show examples
study
Use synonyms
at
school
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Vietnam
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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a short
holidays
Correct the article-noun agreement
holiday
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in December at Tet
holiday
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. The
children
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have about 10 days
relax
Fix the infinitive
to relax
show examples
and
then
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they will continue
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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in
january
Change the capitalization
January
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think
ond
Correct your spelling
one
and
long
summer
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holiday
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for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year
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is better for
children
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because in the
year
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the
children
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can
focus
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Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
on studying
show examples
at
school
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and don't
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
have
short
Add an article
a short
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holiday
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because
at
Add the comma(s)
, at
show examples
school
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, they always have a short
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
time. Some
peole
Correct your spelling
people
think when
children
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study
Use synonyms
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
long time, they always
focus
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on studying
show examples
study
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and
prepare
Wrong verb form
preparing
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for
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the future when they begin
work
Wrong verb form
working
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for
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
. In
conslution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
good but in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
one long
summer
Use synonyms
holiday
Use synonyms
for the
year
Use synonyms
is better for
children
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear but can be expanded to give more background or detail about the topic. Try to make it more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
Include clearer main points for both views. Use linking words to help the reader understand your ideas better.
task achievement
Provide more relevant examples that better support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
You present your opinion clearly in the introduction, which is a strong start.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • burnout
  • rejuvenated
  • quality time
  • family experiences
  • uninterrupted break
  • hobbies
  • engage
  • disengage
  • structure of school
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