IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to young children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

A segment of society believes that unpaid
community
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as working for charity and
imporving
Correct your spelling
improving
 the
community
Use synonyms
 should be
the
Change the article
an
show examples
 integral part of senior education,
while
Linking Words
 few
opposed
Wrong verb form
oppose
show examples
 it. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and give my
opion
Correct your spelling
opinion
at the end
Linking Words
. To commence with,
community
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 may help
students
Use synonyms
 to develop practical skills and gain real-world experience.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
while
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 communicating with
old
Add an article
an old
the old
show examples
 and needy
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, the
students
Use synonyms
 get to know more about culture,
traditional
Correct word choice
and traditional
show examples
 values and foster empathy with which they can promote teamwork to improve a society as well
a
Correct word choice
as a
show examples
country as
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
 ,
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 get a sense of responsibility to give back to society
while
Linking Words
 taking care of the old people and helping the needy.
On the other hand
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, these mandatory
services
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 put a lot of pressure on the
students
Use synonyms
 as they
have
Add the particle
have to
show examples
 cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the academic homework and regular exams to score good marks.
For instance
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,
students
Use synonyms
 are facing a big burden of homework that they are not able to indulge in physical activities
as well as
Linking Words
 have no time for family.
Hence
Linking Words
, adding more responsibilities on
students
Use synonyms
 will
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
 have negative impacts on their mental and physical health.
Linking Words
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
community
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 are pivotal for the growth
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
country but
students
Use synonyms
 have a lot of pressure
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 schools ,so they should devote their time
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
 .

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea related to your topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Expand more on your ideas with examples or details to support your points.
task achievement
You successfully presented both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your intention to discuss both views.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unpaid community service
  • Compulsory
  • Philanthropic activities
  • Civic engagement
  • Give back to society
  • Empathy
  • Social awareness
  • Real-world experience
  • Detracting
  • Autonomy
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Volunteering
  • Teamwork
  • Neighborhood improvement
  • Mentoring
What to do next:
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