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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart shows the percentage of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The first chart shows the percentage of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
The 2 bar chart
compare
Change the verb form
compares
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 the proportion of
males
Use synonyms
 and females engaged in various household chores which are cooking, cleaning, pet care,
house
Correct word choice
and house
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 repairs and the amount of time they spend on each
activities
Change to a singular noun
activity
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 per day.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentages of household chores and the amount of time spent
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 almost the same. Looking first
at
Change preposition
apply
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, approximately 80% of
women
Use synonyms
involved
Add a missing verb
are involved
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 in cooking, compared to about 60% of
men
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of females in cleaning
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 slightly greater than
males
Use synonyms
, with approximately 70%, in
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 to 40% for
males
Use synonyms
. In the proportion of pet
care
Add a comma
care,
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 both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 shared nearly similar standing. The figures for house repairs bucked the trend, about 20% of
men
Use synonyms
 participated in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 chores,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to nearly 10% of
women
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
 chart, females spend more time
o'n
Correct your spelling
on
 cooking than
males
Use synonyms
, over 80
minutes
Use synonyms
 and 60
minutes
Use synonyms
 respectively. Cleaning takes around 70
minutes
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
 and about 45
minutes
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
. The figures for pet care are nearly the same for both genders.
While
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 devote around 20
minutes
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 house repair,
women
Use synonyms
 spend less than 10
minutes
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words males, women, men, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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