An increasing number of people are choosing cosmetic surgeries. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Nowadays many
people
Use synonyms
choose aesthetic surgeries,
people
Use synonyms
do
this
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in order to change their appearance and
this
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as
Correct your spelling
has
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an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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advantages and disadvantages in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
This
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essay will discuss the negative impact
such
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as expenses, chance of addiction and risk of death. To start with, cosmetic surgeries are
procedure
Fix the agreement mistake
procedures
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carried out in order to change the look that you are not well
please
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pleased
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with. For
examples
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example
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, breast reduction or enlargement, liposuction, facial rejuvenation and so on, all these are costly to
carried
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carry
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out, some
people
Use synonyms
obtain loans which can lead to debt, and many individuals save their
hard earn
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hard-earned
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money to undergo
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
surgery. The money that
suppose
Wrong verb form
is supposed
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to be used to maintain their life will now be
use
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used
show examples
for operation because they want a desired appearance.
This
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has
being
Wrong verb form
been
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a negative development in
term
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terms
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of
financial
Add an article
the financial
a financial
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crisis. A grave effect of cosmetic surgery is that some individuals get addicted to it, those who become addicted to aesthetic surgery continue undergoing
such
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procedures and
this
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can
leads
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lead
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to permanent damage
of
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to
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muscles and skin.
For instance
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, An artist went for liposuction of
tommy
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Tommy
tummy
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because she
want
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wanted
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to reshape her body contour and after some years she
is not satisfy
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is not satisfied
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, so she
repeat
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repeated
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the procedure and
finally
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died on the
theater
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theatre
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table.
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Although
Correct word choice
However
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,
this
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might have been a reaction to anaesthesia or
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
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health history.
Therefore
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, addiction is very common
with
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
Use synonyms
who choose cosmetic
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
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an
Change preposition
as an
show examples
option to change their natural look. In conclusion,
this
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essay has been able to
eloborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
more on the negative effect of aesthetic surgeries
in
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on
show examples
the growth of the community based on the expenses and the addictive effect.

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Task Achievement
Your essay has the main idea, but you need to explain your points in more detail. Try to fully answer the question and show both positive and negative sides clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs connect well. Use linking words like 'however', 'also', and 'for example' to help the reader follow your ideas.
Language
Be careful with grammar and spelling. Try to check for small mistakes, such as 'being' instead of 'been' and 'supposed' instead of 'suppose'.
Content
Your introduction clearly states the topic of your essay, and you identified both advantages and disadvantages.
Task Achievement
You provided a specific example to support your point about the risks of addiction in cosmetic surgery, which helps to make your argument clearer.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cosmetic surgery
  • societal pressure
  • beauty standards
  • social media
  • perceived flaws
  • self-esteem
  • empowerment
  • quality of life
  • medical technology
  • reconstructive purposes
  • normalization
  • unrealistic beauty standards
  • health risks
  • complications
  • psychological effects
  • body image
What to do next:
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