IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You stayed in a rental apartment during your trip last year and were generally satisfied with it. However, you encountered one issue. You are planning another trip and would like to rent the same apartment again. Write a letter to the owner. In your letter Express your interest in renting the apartment again. Mention the problem you faced during your last stay. Provide details about your upcoming trip and ask about the availability of the apartment.

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to you to rent one of your
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodation
. The fact is that I visited Toronto
last
Linking Words
 year and rented one of your apartments for 5 days. I must say I really enjoyed that space as it was quite spacious and hygienic.
This
Linking Words
 is perhaps the reason why I want to rent the same apartment with
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 amenities
such
Linking Words
 as
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 wi-fi network.
Although
Linking Words
, I have
another options
Replace the adjective
another option
other options
show examples
 available as well with discounted prices
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
, I want to visit your apartment again as I had have experience with that. I would definitely like to inform you about the issue that I faced
last
Linking Words
 time. Actually, there was some problem with the drainage system in the washroom because the water was passing very slowly so I had to face problems
while
Linking Words
 bathing. I hope repairs
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been done until now if not, can you please repair the same
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 I vividly remember
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I stayed in room no. 101
last
Linking Words
 year.
This
Linking Words
 time, I am planning to come with my family from
august
Capitalize word
August
show examples
 1 to
august
Capitalize word
August
show examples
 10. Please respond to my letter if you have space available on these dates. Thank you and I am hoping to hear positively from you. Yours sincerely, Jashan

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure you organize your ideas well. Each paragraph should focus on one idea clearly.
task achievement
Try to be a bit more polite in your tone. Phrases such as 'I would appreciate your help' can add kindness.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling. There are a few small mistakes that can be corrected, such as 'accommodations' instead of 'accomodations'.
task achievement
You have a friendly tone in your letter.
task achievement
You clearly expressed your interest in renting the apartment again.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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