IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environment responsibility While others believe that tourists should not accept any responsiblity at all. To what Extend do you agree or disagree.

Their
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There
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 is no denying the fact that in recent years
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 has become
more easy
Correct word choice
easier
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 than ever.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that a large group of people argue that tourists should be responsible about social and environmental rules, there is an argument that opposes it.
However
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, I believe that cultural and environmental
responsibily
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 should be
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
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 concern.
To begin
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 with,
visitors
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 from other nations could have different cultures
than
Change preposition
from
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 the desired destination.
In other words
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,
visitors
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 who are planning to
visite
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visit
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 a country should respect other local cultures. Which means
vocationers
Correct your spelling
vacationers
 could do a
littel
Correct your spelling
little
 research about the nation they are visiting. By doing
this
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,
visitors
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 can gain knowledge and be more careful with their
acts
Replace the word
actions
show examples
.
For instance
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, a country like Saudi Arabia has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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very strict rules in terms of
,
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apply
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 drinking alcohol
drinks
Check wording
apply
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and wearing
bikines
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bikinis
 at local beaches
due to
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religone
Correct your spelling
religious
 conditions. Another point to
condiser
Correct your spelling
consider
 is that vocationers should be eco-friendly with the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 rules of other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
This
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 is because
visitors
Use synonyms
 tend to buy food and beverages throughout their trips, which
consequently
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,
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apply
show examples
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
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 more garbage.
That is
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 to
say
Punctuation problem
say,
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 in some areas it is strongly prohibited to throw garbage at just anywhere, so
traveller
Fix the agreement mistake
travellers
show examples
 should pay attention to these acts. In Bali,
for example
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, their people tend to use a cotton bag
instead
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 of using plastic bags because of the
countrys'
Check wording
country's
show examples
 law. In conclusion, I strongly
believ
Correct your spelling
believe
 that respecting and following other social and cultural nations
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 a must, because it
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
 to
social-effectiveness
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social effectiveness
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, and reduces
overall
Linking Words
 environmental issues.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion more directly. For example, use phrases like 'I agree that...'
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better. You could use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', 'finally'. This makes your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling mistakes, such as 'visite' (visit) and 'littel' (little). It is important to spell words correctly to make your writing clear.
task achievement
Your examples, like Saudi Arabia and Bali, are relevant and support your ideas well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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