IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that self-employment is better than a job in a company or an institution. Discuss your opinion and give reasons to support your answer.

In recent years, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that working for yourself is better than doing a job in a
company
Use synonyms
 or organisation. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because self-employment gives more freedom and allows
people
Use synonyms
 to earn more
money
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, self-employment gives
people
Use synonyms
 the chance to be their own boss. They can choose their working time, make decisions and follow their own ideas.
For example
Linking Words
, a person who starts a small online business can work from home and plan their day as they like.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working in the
company
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 have to follow the
company
Use synonyms
's policies strictly. There is no freedom, flexibility or emotion. They have to work under high pressure.
As a result
Linking Words
, the stress and mental pressure on an employee are increasing day by day.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
self-employed
Correct article usage
a self-employed
show examples
 person can earn more
money
Use synonyms
 than a service holder. In a
company
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,
people
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 get a fixed salary. There are no chances to earn over
money
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. Apart from that,
people
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 can earn unlimited
money
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 from business by using their skills. By working hard, many
people
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 succeed and enjoy their personal satisfaction. These benefits are completely absent from a
company
Use synonyms
 job. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some difficulties and risks to starting a business but it is more profitable than other jobs. I believe self-employment is better for those who want freedom, self-control, flexibility and
also
Linking Words
 want more
money
Use synonyms
. It is a good option for
people
Use synonyms
 who are motivated and ready to take responsibility

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and fully explain your main points in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words (like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in conclusion') to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details for your points to strengthen your arguments.
content
You presented a clear opinion and supported it with good reasons.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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