Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. “Fatherhood ought to emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.” To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, childhood is a matter of people
Linking Words
this
Punctuation problem
; this
show examples
is why some of them
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
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that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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babies are Female
responsibilities
Punctuation problem
responsibilities,
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while
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others believe
that
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is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
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not
a
Correct article usage
the
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case. The following discussion will explore the opposing views surrounding the issue and provide a reasoned personal opinion.
Firstly
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, I strongly agree
that
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is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
the
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
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only the one who
responsible
Verb problem
is responsible
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
choice
Replace the word
choosing
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whatever she
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
and when she is ready to have a baby. The main reason, females usually
struggling
Wrong verb form
struggle
show examples
with children and how to treat them to avoid
made
Wrong verb form
making
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their childhood worse.
Moreover
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, mothers at the beginning of childhood may face several
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
difficulty
Fix the agreement mistake
difficulties
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, specifically if it
was
Wrong verb form
is
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the first time
because
Punctuation problem
, because
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of understanding
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the treatment situation and
less
Correct word choice
limited
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knowledge as well.
In addition
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, Fathers
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also
Verb problem
are also
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important for their
kids
Check wording
kids'
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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and they can be a good example for them. In conclusion, after
analysis
Use the right word
analysing
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both sides for parents. 
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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believe that
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
are required to select their interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
who
going
Verb problem
is going
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to lead the bringing
children up
Correct word order
up children
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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remember
that
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is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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not related to one of you
it
Punctuation problem
; it
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is depending
Wrong verb form
depends
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on both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay needs a clearer structure. Try to have clear paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should cover one main idea.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are fully developed. Provide more reasons and examples to support your opinions.
general
Work on grammar and vocabulary to make your points clearer and easier to understand.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion on the topic, which is a good starting point for your essay. Your engagement with the topic is evident.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Co-parenting
  • Shared parenting
  • Gender roles
  • Child-rearing
  • Paternal involvement
  • Maternal responsibility
  • Balance of parental duties
  • Fatherhood
  • Motherhood
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Paternity leave
  • Family dynamics
  • Equal opportunity
  • Caregiver
  • Parental leave policies
  • Gender stereotypes
  • Emotional well-being
  • Child development
  • Custodial rights
  • Familial support
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