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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

What should be taught in educational
centers
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centres
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 to
students
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 is arguable, with some people concerned that the
centers
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centres
show examples
 do not value teaching practical
skills
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 to
students
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 and would rather focus on theoretical knowledge. I agree with
this
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 statement to a large extent. Some advantages are involved in being familiar with practical
skills
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. First and foremost, it increases the chance of employment after graduation.
This
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 is because there are a variety of jobs available which require job seekers to be experts to be employed.
In other words
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, learning practical
skills
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 enhances the employability of individuals.
Additionally
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, making people
skillful
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skilful
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 can cut down their cost of living.
This
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 can be explained by an example. Suppose a person whose car breaks down when commuting to work. If he had some mechanical
skills
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, he would know how to repair his car and
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
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would be
Verb problem
wouldn't break
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 down when commuting to work. If he had some mechanical
skills
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, he would know how to repair his car
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there would be no need to pay for a repairman.
Therefore
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, by increasing the chance of recruitment and diminishing living expenses, it is crucial to learn practical
skills
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.
However
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, some people believe that the responsibility of schools and universities should be limited to teaching non-practical concepts. The reason for their idea stems from the fact that there is a scientific theory behind every practical skill
and
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, and
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 if
students
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 did not learn about the facts in their educational years,
then
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 there would be no other opportunity for it after graduation.
Although
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this
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 argument cannot be denied, it does not mean that becoming an expert is not valuable.
Therefore
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, to resolve
this
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 conflict, we should achieve a balance between teaching facts and
skills
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. In conclusion,
although
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 necessary, theoretical concepts should not be the only or the main focus of educational
centers
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centres
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.
Students
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 should be trained with practical lessons in parallel with theoretical ones. In
this
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 way, they can be prepared to break into the market and make a living.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could be stronger by briefly stating why practical skills are important.
Coherence/Cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more clearly. Some sentences feel a bit disconnected, such as when you switch from one idea to another.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. The car repair example is good, but you could add one more to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion and support it with reasons, which is important for a good score.
Coherence/Cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main points and reinforces your view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rote memorization
  • practical skills
  • adaptable skills
  • critical thinking
  • balanced approach
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • workforce readiness
  • real-life challenges
  • technological advancements
  • information management
  • creativity hindrance
  • lifelong learning
  • skill development
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