The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retailer sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie charts illustrate online shopping patterns for four main items (travel, film/music, books, and clothes) in New Zealand from 2003 to 2013.

Overall

Linking Words

, the diagram shows that

sales

Use synonyms

of people who purchase movies and music have increased dramatically during the past 10 years.

While

Linking Words

for clothes shopping, buyers showed a major shift that displayed less interest during the period.

However

Linking Words

sales

Use synonyms

for readers show a tiny rise from 2003 to 2013. A closer look at the data reveals that film and music

sales

Use synonyms

experienced major growth by 12

percent

Use the right word

per cent

show examples

from 2003 to 2013, which shows that people became more Interested in the

theater

Use the right word

theatre

show examples

field.

In contrast

Linking Words

sales

Use synonyms

for clothing began at 21% in 2003, and suddenly had a huge dropped by 8%. For

sales

Use synonyms

travelling, it started at 24% in 2003, and

then

Linking Words

decreased to 16% in 2013.

Moreover

Linking Words

sales

Use synonyms

for the books and novels sectors demonstrate a slight increase of 2% from 2003 to 2013.

maiarghazi3

Jul 6, 2025

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

157 words

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The pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retailer sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Some people believe that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes. However, others believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both views.

some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Others think it is important to keep work life completely separate from social life. This essay will discuss both views and present my opinion.