IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have just received a letter from an overseas university saying that your IELTS band score of 6 is too low for admission to any of its Master's courses (You need 6.5) Write a letter to the admissions officer. In your letter Introduce yourself Enquire about any alternative ways of gaining entrance

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope my letter finds you well. My name is KajaIpreet, I
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
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 to India. I have just completed my post-secondary studies from the ABC college in the
bachelor's
Fix capitalization
Bachelor's
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 of
health sciences
Fix capitalization
Health Sciences
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. I filled out
application
Correct article usage
the application
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 form
last
Linking Words
 month to get admission into your university
in
Change preposition
for
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 the master's of
occupational therapy
Fix capitalization
Occupational Therapy
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. I have attached all the important documents mentioned
the
Change preposition
in the
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 application form.
While
Linking Words
 I was waiting for your response, I got your letter mentioning that the minimum scores required to
get enroll
Wrong verb form
enrol
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into
Change preposition
on
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 the tertiary education courses
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 6.5. I have 6 bands in the
english
Fix capitalization
English
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 proficiency exam. I
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 high hopes to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
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admission in your university because it is my dream university to study. I was wondering
is
Use the right word
if
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 you have any other suggestions for me, so that I can get admission in your school. If there is
Correct article usage
an english
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english
Fix capitalization
English
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 course I can take before coming here
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 clear that
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 if I can rewrite my test next week and submit the results, or if you have any
different
Correct word choice
other
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 suggestions that could be helpful for
me
Punctuation problem
me,
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 that will be great. I will look forward to your response. Yours
sincerily
Correct your spelling
sincerely
, Kajalpreet

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task achievement
Make sure to introduce yourself clearly and avoid grammar mistakes, like 'I belongs' should be 'I belong.'
coherence and cohesion
Try to separate your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear and simple language to get your point across better, like 'Could you suggest other options for my admission?' instead of 'I was wondering is you have any other suggestions for me.'
task achievement
You expressed your hopes and dreams clearly, showing your passion for the university.
suitable writing tone
You included a polite request for suggestions, which is very good for tone.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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