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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that children shouldn’t watch a lot of TV and play video games due to the negative impacts on their mental health. Others, otherwise, think that TV or video games help chilren be more creative. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The illustration demonstrates the average costs that American consumers spent on mobile and landline
phone
Use synonyms
services
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 annually from 2001 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
services
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 followed stable trends over time, with a steady rise in mobile
phone
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 service and a consistent decline in residential
phone
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 connections. In
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
 years, residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 were more costly, starting at nearly $700 in 2001. Meanwhile, cell
phone
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services
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 began much lower, at around $200.
However
Linking Words
, mobile
phone
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 expenditures rose consistently each year, reaching approximately $550 by 2006,
while
Linking Words
 landline spending dropped to the same amount. From 2006, the gap between the two widened. Mobile service spending continued to grow, peaking at over $700 by 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
, residential
phone
Use synonyms
 costs kept falling steadily, ending just above $400.

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task achievement
Add more details in the introduction about what the illustration shows to provide a clearer overview.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure the conclusion restates the main trends clearly to wrap up the discussion. It should connect both parts of the essay effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words such as 'however', 'meanwhile', or 'furthermore' to make the comparisons clearer.
task achievement
The essay presents clear overall trends in the data, making it easy to understand the changes over the years.
task achievement
Good use of specific data points in your description, which strengthens the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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