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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.

The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.
The bar graph depicts eating five portions of fruit and vegetables on a daily basis. It is clear from the graph that the data was for three lines, which are kids, males, and females between 2001 to 2008.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, from 2001 to 2003, children and men's parts stay constant in the middle of 10 and 15 per
cent
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,
also
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 between 15 and 20 per
cent
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.
While
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, women's section had a gradual increase from almost 23 per
cent
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 to 24 per
cent
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 in 2002,
as well as
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 above 25 per
cent
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 with a few numbers in the next
year
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. Meanwhile, in 2004, the children's line had the same percentage as men had in the first years. Plus, men hit 20 per
cent
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. Not only that, women date almost touched it
also
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 after a
year
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 had it.
Furthermore
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, from 2005 to the
last
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year
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, both green and orange bars did not go over 30 per
cent
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 nor under 15 per
cent
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.
However
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, Blue
one
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 got upwards 30% not only once but twice, the first
one
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 was in 2006, had 35% and the other
one
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 was after a
year
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 with about 31%.
To sum up
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, we could say that
one
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 line touched 35 per
cent
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 for once.
while
Linking Words
 male and kids lines were around ten per
cent
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 and 27 per
cent
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 in that 8-
year
Use synonyms
 study.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent, year, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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