IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that a high salary is more important than job satisfaction. Others believe that job satisfaction is more valuable than a high salary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Over the decades, people prefer to have
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
. Nowadays people
priortise
Correct your spelling
prioritise
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 over
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay
would disagree
Wrong verb form
disagrees
show examples
 that, big
salary
Use synonyms
 is more important than
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
. On the
onehand
Correct your spelling
one hand
,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 helps to maintain good health conditions rather than
preffering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 a
high
Use the right word
high-salary
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
high
Use the right word
high-salary
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 consists of
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy
show examples
 workload and complete
work
Use synonyms
 pressure.
For instance
Linking Words
, heavy
Use synonyms
work load
Use the right word
workload
show examples
 and
work
Use synonyms
 pressure may affect on mental and physical health of a person.
Job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 doesn’t show any negative effect on
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 of the person. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 helps to achieve our goals and
target
Correct subject-verb agreement
targets
show examples
 effectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 provides more freedom to
work
Use synonyms
 and helps to become an expert or professional in their respective
fields
Fix the agreement mistake
field
show examples
. To illustrate,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 provides freedom
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 helps to complete
targets
Correct article usage
the targets
show examples
 of the organisation and complete projects successfully within deadlines, without any
work
Use synonyms
 pressure. Freedom to
work
Use synonyms
 helps to achieve targets easily when compared to
high
Use the right word
high-salary
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 jobs.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is more important than
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
.
High
Correct article usage
A high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 be achieved with
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
. To reiterate, having
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 helps to concentrate on the
job
Use synonyms
 effectively
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 helps to become an expert or professional in their respective fields. Becoming a professional helps to earn
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
To improve your essay, make sure each paragraph has clear main ideas that relate back to your opinion. Use topic sentences to guide your reader.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your sentence structure for better clarity and flow. Avoid short, choppy sentences and connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Enhance your examples to make them more relevant to the points you are making. Specific examples make your argument stronger and clearer.
task achievement
Make sure you directly address both sides of the argument more equally before giving your opinion. This will show a better understanding of the topic.
positive
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and summary, which is a good practice for IELTS essays.
positive
You understand the importance of job satisfaction and how it can impact health and productivity, which is a relevant point in modern discussions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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