IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Test date 5/10/2019 Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

In recent years, the topic of
authourity
Correct your spelling
authority
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
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 has undeniably become a critical issue for the general public.
While
Linking Words
 some individuals agree that they have to spend money on improving
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 facilities or public transportation, I firmly assert that the
art
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in physical and mental life.
This
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 essay will provide a
through
Use the right word
thorough
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 examination of these contrasting perspectives. On the one hand, it is imperative to recognise that individuals should appreciate the substantial benefits of public services. A pivotal point to consider is that they bring convenience, which emphasises that
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
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 can save time
as well as
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 money, reducing traffic jams in the city. An additional crucial aspect to highlight is to contribute to the development of
country
Correct article usage
the country
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.
This
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 stems from the understanding that these services provide the necessary needs for all inhabitants and
bissinesses
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businesses
.
On the other hand
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, it is significant to examine the opposite viewpoint on the importance of the arts in life. A noteworthy aspect to consider is that it brings
the
Correct article usage
apply
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entertainment, which emphasises that people can create and express
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 emotions through various
art
Use synonyms
 forms. One
observe
Correct subject-verb agreement
observes
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 that
theatre
Correct article usage
the theatre
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,
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
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 and more are where they can spend their quality time with family and friends.
Furthermore
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,it is essential to underscore that cultural appreciation plays a pivotal role in
this
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 discussion.
This
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 assertion is supported by the fact that it fosters appreciation for different cultures and historical contexts through all kinds of the arts, which are displayed in big
art
Use synonyms
 museums and exhibitions,thereby providing a clearer understanding of the complexities involved. In conclusion, an analysis of the different perspectives on government investment highlights the importance of
art
Use synonyms
 and public services.
This
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 examination prompts individuals to
thoughfully
Correct your spelling
thoughtfully
 consider their preferences and the experiences that influence their concern.

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task achievement
Make sure your main ideas are clear and fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar. There are a few errors that make it harder to read.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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