IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton, and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The maps illustrate, current situation of
industrial
Correct article usage
the industrial
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 located in Norbiton town and
plan for the
Correct word order
the plan for
show examples
 future changes.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 significant changes are going to happen in the site
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
including building new houses,
playground
Correct article usage
a playground
show examples
,
school
Correct article usage
a school
show examples
, shops and
medical
Correct article usage
a medical
show examples
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are 8 factories in the current map, and there is
Use synonyms
river
Correct article usage
a river
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north
side
Use synonyms
 of the
Use synonyms
rounderbout
Correct your spelling
roundabout
. Farmland
locates
Wrong verb form
is located
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north-east
side
Use synonyms
 of the
river
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
 is
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the west-south
side
Use synonyms
 of the
river
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 there will be no factories in the
area
Use synonyms
 since construction is going to remove and replace
all
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 with different buildings.
Bridge
Correct article usage
The bridge
show examples
 will be built in the middle of the
river
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 old farmland will be relocated to the east
side
Use synonyms
o
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the bridge.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 7 new houses will be constructed all over the
area
Use synonyms
. In the west-south part of the
Use synonyms
rounderbout
Correct your spelling
roundabout
 is going to be
shopping
Correct article usage
a shopping
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 with new shops,
also
Linking Words
 planners
going
Verb problem
are going
show examples
 to build
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 medical centre in the south-east
side
Use synonyms
 of the main
Use synonyms
rounderbout
Correct your spelling
roundabout
.
Finally
Linking Words
, there will be
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 playground and school in the north-east and east
side
Use synonyms
 of the
Use synonyms
rounderbout
Correct your spelling
roundabout
 respectively .

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, river, side, rounderbout with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial area
  • planned future development
  • factories
  • warehouses
  • railway line
  • shopping center
  • residential buildings
  • college
  • mixed-use zone
  • commercial
  • residential
  • educational
  • green spaces
  • pedestrian walkways
  • housing
  • community
  • retail services
  • revitalize
  • quality of life
  • vibrant
  • sustainable
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