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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Traffic congestion is a major problem in most large cities ,nowadays. What are the causes of traffic congestion in cities? what could the government do to reduce this problem?

Traffic congestion is a massive issue in most
metropolies
Correct your spelling
metropolises
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 nowadays. In my opinion, there are two
mainly
Replace the word
main
show examples
 reasons for
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the area covered by the public transportation is not enough,
consequently
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, individuals prefer to
driver
Replace the word
drive
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 through the city
their
Change preposition
in their
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 own cars rather than using the
bus
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
. this
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this
Fix capitalization
This
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drive
Correct subject-verb agreement
drives
show examples
 us to the second root of the
problem
Punctuation problem
problem,
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that is
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the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 huge quantities of vehicles on the street .
Therefore
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, a suitable solution for
this
Linking Words
 situation would be
that
Change preposition
for
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 governments
improve
Verb problem
to improve
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 the
cover zone
Fix the agreement mistake
coverage
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 of
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 transport system. Regarding the increase
on
Change preposition
in
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 the number of cars that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been seen during the
last
Linking Words
 years. Many individuals claim
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that it is
to
Use the right word
too
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 difficult for them to take the
bus
Use synonyms
 because there are no
bus
Use synonyms
 stops near their residences.
Thus
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, the best option for them is to
use
Use synonyms
 their cars to get to their jobs on time
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
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 they should get up an hour before or even earlier to
reach
Verb problem
catch
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 the
bus
Use synonyms
. To
Illustrate
Fix capitalization
illustrate
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, a friend of mine lives in the suburbs of the city, and he should take a
30 minute
Use the right word
30-minute
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 walk to arrive
to
Change preposition
at
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 the nearest
bus
Use synonyms
stop
Punctuation problem
stop,
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wich
Use the right word
which
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 means he has no other alternative than driving his
car
Use synonyms
 to go to his work.
However
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, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 could expand the transport
network
Punctuation problem
network,
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 there would be many individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 could
left
Wrong verb form
leave
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 their vehicles at home.
This
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 is basically
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 because it is well known that commuting by
bus
Use synonyms
 is more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 than using a
car
Use synonyms
 for two reasons.
Primarly
Correct your spelling
Primarily
,
traveling
Use the right word
travelling
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
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 is
cheapear
Correct your spelling
cheaper
, if you consider all the associated costs to owning a
car
Use synonyms
, the
register
Replace the word
registration
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,
ensurance
Correct your spelling
insurance
,
maintainance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
, and fuel.
Moreover
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, everyone is aware
on
Change preposition
of
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 how
stresfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 to drive in big cities.
For example
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, I personally prefer to
use
Use synonyms
 the
bus
Use synonyms
 because I can
use
Use synonyms
 my
trip-time
Use the right word
trip time
show examples
 to read a book, study or just enjoy the sight and unwind.
Whereas
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 driving a
car
Use synonyms
 is
such
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 a demanding task
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 during a traffic jam.
To conclude
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, traffic congestion is a problem that affects everybody, and the only way to reduce it is by increasing the availability of
busses
Use the right word
buses
show examples
 in remote areas of the city.
Then
Linking Words
, it would be simpler for citizens to
use
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state the causes and solutions you're going to discuss. Make this clear to the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Try to start each paragraph with a sentence that tells what the paragraph is about.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling for simple words. There are a few errors that can change the meaning of your ideas. For example, 'driver' should be 'drive'.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as your friend's experience with public transport. This helps support your main ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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