IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

the chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The chart illustrates the results of a questionnaire about
individual's
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
 habits of drinking and purchasing
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in five main cities in Australia in the
last
Linking Words
 month.
Overall
Linking Words
, all communities in Sydney, Melbourne,Brisbane and Hobart had gone to a
cafe
Use synonyms
 for the mentioned drinks rather than buying instant or fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 , except Adelaide. All cities had less interest in buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 than the other two options. The proportion of residents in Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart, went to a
cafe
Use synonyms
 for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea at just above 60%, around 63% and 64% respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the proportions of purchased instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 month were approximately 46%,47% and just below 55% respectively. The percentages of buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in these three urban areas
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 were always below 45%( around 44%,42% and 37% respectively). Adelaide was the only city where people bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 , which was at 50% of the other options. Around 48% of people went to a
cafe
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 around 55% of Brisbane citizens went to a
cafe
Use synonyms
 for a
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks. It is
also
Linking Words
 noteworthy that people in these two cities were at the same
proportions
Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
show examples
 (at about 34%) of purchased fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the given period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cafe with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: