IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an avarage English home. Summarise the information by selecting ad reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an avarage English home. Summarise the information by selecting ad reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The pictures
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 information about typical daily demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
 during winter and summer in England, and the
usage
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 in English
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. There are
high
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 gaps during the seasons. In cold
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
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, people mostly use the energy for heating rooms and hot water, in 24
hours
Use synonyms
 up to 45.000 units of
electricity
Use synonyms
 are used.
However
Linking Words
, if the weather is not really
cold
Punctuation problem
cold,
show examples
 the
usage
Use synonyms
 could
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
decline to 30.000. Mostly the
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 are around 40.000 during the cold season.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, very big
different
Replace the word
differences
show examples
happens
Correct subject-verb agreement
happen
show examples
 during summer, almost 20.000 items are used,
then
Linking Words
 drop to 12.000. After 12
hours
Use synonyms
, the figure
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
 back up to 20.000 and
slow
Correct subject-verb agreement
slows
show examples
 down to 18.000 for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, after 24
Use synonyms
hours
Punctuation problem
hours,
show examples
 the count
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 19.000 for the units of
electricity
Use synonyms
. The
usage
Use synonyms
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 mostly goes to
heater
Correct article usage
the heater
show examples
, 52.5% of
that is
Linking Words
 used. The
usage
Use synonyms
 for clothing needs and laundry
only
Verb problem
is only
show examples
 about a fifth (17.5%). For house equipment
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as light and
Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertaintment
Punctuation problem
entertaintment,
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 15%.
Also
Linking Words
 for cleaning things and electric tools are less than a fifth. In summary, in winter, the
usage
Use synonyms
 of
electric
Replace the word
electricity
show examples
a
Verb problem
is a
show examples
lot higher than the summer. Only
Correct article usage
an avarage
show examples
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 percentage for the
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 houses needed.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, usage, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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