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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The data presents total world
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption and electricity generation for
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of the consumed
energy
Use synonyms
 categories are being generated.
Also
Linking Words
, does the data show that for some electricity sources we generate more than we use, and for some categories
vice
Punctuation problem
, vice
show examples
 versa
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 Oil, gas and Combustible renewables and waste are all
energy
Use synonyms
 types that are being used more than the world generates.
With the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 biggest
difference
Use synonyms
being
Wrong verb form
is
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 oil, which is 34.3% of the consumption and only 6.7% of
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
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. Making
this
Linking Words
 the biggest
difference
Use synonyms
 in usage and production. The
energy
Use synonyms
 category with the smallest
difference
Use synonyms
 is gas. Which is consumed 1.3%
than
Correct word choice
what
show examples
 is being generated.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
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 there are Combustible renewables and waste
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 we do not produce. The remainder of the
energy
Use synonyms
 sources
all are
Correct word order
are all
show examples
 being consumed less than we produce. These
being
Verb problem
include
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 hydro, nuclear, coal and other. Of these types, the biggest differences can be seen in coal and hydro, which are both produced approximately 14% more than their usage. Nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 has a
difference
Use synonyms
 of 9.2%. And ultimately, the category other differs 1.7%, not only making it the
less
Replace the word
least
show examples
 used
energy
Use synonyms
 type with only 0.4%, but
also
Linking Words
 the least generated
energy
Use synonyms
 type with only 2.1%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, difference with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 5 times.
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