IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern technology is now very common in the most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work ? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on tecnology?

The world is very different today, and there are many things that have changed, including how
people
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work
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 now in many places.
Technology
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become
Verb problem
has become
show examples
 a big part of
people
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's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 and
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
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 many
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way
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ways
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people
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 do daily
task
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tasks
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine do I think
this
Linking Words
 has changed the
way
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 we
work
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 and do I think there are disadvantages to relying too much on
technology
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?
Change the punctuation
.
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 I think
technology
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 changed the
way
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 we
work
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 .
Firstly
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, it
maks
Use the right word
makes
show examples
 jobs
more quick
Wrong verb form
quicker
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 and
simple
Replace the word
simpler
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 used to write things on paper
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 now
using
Wrong verb form
they use
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Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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computer
Punctuation problem
computer,
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make
Wrong verb form
making
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 it
more
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apply
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faster.
Secondly
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, sending
email
Correct article usage
an email
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take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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 just a second
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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worker
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workers
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 don’t have to go office because they can
work
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 online.
This
Linking Words
 helps firms to be more productive and
compititive
Correct your spelling
competitive
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, many
meeting
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meetings
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 happen by phone or laptop
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
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 time for everybody. So,
people
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 can finish more
task
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tasks
show examples
 in
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 time by using tools like
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, video calls, and machines that do heavy jobs.
Finally
Linking Words
, many companies are using programs to check
work
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 or help
worker
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workers
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 to do more
job
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 without
problem
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problems
show examples
.
This
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 makes working so easy and more helpful for those.
However
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, I believe there are
problems
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 when
people
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 use
technology
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 too much. First of all, some
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 become lazy because everything
done
Verb problem
is done
show examples
 by
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computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,they forget to think and only wait for
machine
Correct article usage
the machine
show examples
 to do
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job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
. Second of all, if
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
stop
Correct subject-verb agreement
stops
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 or
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computer
Correct article usage
the computer
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broken
Wrong verb form
breaks down
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,
people
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 can’t finish
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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work
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.
This
Linking Words
 can cause big
problems
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 for
company
Correct article usage
the company
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. Third of all, sometimes
people
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 feel
stress
Replace the word
stressed
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 because they
work
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 all day on
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computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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 and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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don’t move much.
For example
Linking Words
, working all day can cause health
problems
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 like back pain or tired eyes.
Finally
Linking Words
, some
people
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 lose
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
their job
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job
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jobs
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 because
machine
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machines
show examples
 do it cheaper and faster than humans. In conclusion, the
way
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people
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 do their
job
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 has changed because of
technology
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, and at the same time, there are
problems
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 for
people
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 when they use
technology
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 too much in their workplaces.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction, so the reader understands your position.
task achievement
Use clear and simple examples to support each point you make.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas in paragraphs with clear topic sentences, so readers can easily follow your thoughts.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling mistakes and grammar errors, as they can confuse the reader.
task achievement
You have identified both advantages and disadvantages of technology in the workplace, showing a balanced view.
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