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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

he line graph illustrates the number of participants per five activities during 2000 till 2010.

he line graph illustrates the number of participants per five activities during 2000 till 2010.
The line graph illustrates the number of
participants
Use synonyms
 per five activities
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2000
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Film
Correct article usage
the Film
show examples
 club had the highest number of
participants
Use synonyms
 across other activities,
whereas
Linking Words
 martial arts, amateur
dramatic
Use the right word
dramatics
show examples
 and table tennis attracted a moderate number of
participants
Use synonyms
.
it
Verb problem
It is
show examples
 worth noting that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 musical performances
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 not there until 2005. In
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
 more than 65
participants
Use synonyms
 enjoyed the film club
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was high. Martial arts
participants
Use synonyms
 fluctuated
the
Change preposition
throughout the
show examples
 whole period between 30 and 35
participants
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, amateur dramatics activity began with 25, before it continued downward until the end and reached a low point of less than 10 people.
However
Linking Words
, the
participants
Use synonyms
 in
table
Correct article usage
the table
show examples
 tennis activity were stable in the first three
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it dramatically increased
toward
Change preposition
to
show examples
 50 participation contrast,
Musical
Correct article usage
the Musical
show examples
 performance
participants
Use synonyms
 witnessed a gradual
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
throughout the
show examples
 whole period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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