IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is often argued that authorities should allocate money towards public services, rather than spending it on arts and
ertertainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 events. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 focusing on services
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare and
education
Use synonyms
 is much more important. Healthcare is fundamental for all humans
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 investing in
this
Linking Words
 sector would not only help those in need, but it
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
also
Linking Words
 improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of life for the elderly generation.
This
Linking Words
 could be done by introducing a free
healtcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
 system, where governmental hospitals treat any citizen free of charge. Saudi Arabia is a prime example where a free
healthcrae
Correct your spelling
healthcare
 system was introduced in
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 of
saudi
Fix capitalization
Saudi
show examples
 Arabia
have been
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 increased
rapdily
Correct your spelling
rapidly
 over the years. One of the basic human rights is
education
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it is necessary for all individuals to have access to it. Without
education
Use synonyms
, people may get trapped in a poverty cycle. Access to
education
Use synonyms
 improves
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 critical thinking and the ability to have
meaningful
Correct article usage
a meaningful
show examples
 job,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will allow them to contribute more to their communities.
For instance
Linking Words
, countries
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
 invest in
education
Use synonyms
 systems
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as Sweden, tend to have
level
Correct article usage
a level
show examples
 of economic growth.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, ensuring widespread access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is a key factor in national
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
. In conclusion, I completely agree that
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
givernments
Correct your spelling
governments
 should invest in public services,
sush
Correct your spelling
such
 as healthcare and
education
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because it is not only a moral obligation, but
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 national and economic
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly express your main ideas in each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your points.
task achievement
Check your spelling and grammar mistakes to improve clarity.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion in the introduction.
task achievement
Your ideas about healthcare and education are relevant and important.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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