IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In certain countries, the number of people who use bicycles as the main means of transport is reducing even though it is beneficial both physically and environmentally. What can be the reasons for this change in preference? How can people be encouraged to use bicycles? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

To become healthy both physically and mentally, in the past
people
Use synonyms
 were using
bicycles
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 has reduced significantly in today's society.
This
Linking Words
 is because advancements in
automobile
Correct article usage
the automobile
show examples
 industry
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 led to
change
Correct article usage
a change
show examples
 in preference among individuals. To change
this
Linking Words
 trend, governments will have to create more
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 again.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the main reason which has
made reduce
Replace the word
led to a reduction
show examples
 in
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
cycle
Fix the agreement mistake
cycles
show examples
 is automobile advancements. In
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
show examples
 era, technology is growing at
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 fast pace, which means more comfort and flexibility in transportation.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have become so lazy
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that in every sector they opt for comfort rather than hardship. These new
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
can
Check wording
systems can
show examples
 travel long routes
fastly
Rephrase
quickly
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 on
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
bicycle
Punctuation problem
bicycle,
show examples
 it is very hard and
time consuming
Use the right word
time-consuming
show examples
 for individuals to travel long distances, as it will take days or weeks to reach their destination.
For example
Linking Words
, social media is so popular that
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 it to keep up with the latest technology
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
to buy them
Correct word order
them to buy
show examples
 new
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 rather than
bicycles
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 want to convince
people
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis. They will have to create more
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
around
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
Use synonyms
, and in campaigns
government
Use synonyms
 can hire professional cyclists who can inform individuals about the benefits of cycling and informing negative effects of new vehicles.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will learn about the crisis that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can arise on
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
. It will change
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 mindset and they will be automatically encouraged to
use
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis.
For instance
Linking Words
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 has provided free cycles to the population
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is making
people
Use synonyms
 more
inform
Replace the word
informed
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
pollution
Correct article usage
the pollution
show examples
 rate has decreased significantly over there. In conclusion, modern vehicles do provide comfort, but with the efforts from
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 by making campaigns can educate
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it can be
proved
Use the right word
proven
show examples
 beneficial in the future.

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task response
Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement. Clearly state your main points in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words to connect your ideas better. This will help improve the flow of your essay.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay.
task response
You have identified important reasons for the decline in bicycle use, such as automobile advancements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • urban development
  • safety concerns
  • traffic congestion
  • cultural perception
  • prestige
  • harsh weather conditions
  • convenience
  • awareness campaigns
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable transport
  • commuting habits
  • bicycle lanes
  • recreational cycling
  • active transportation
  • carbon footprint
  • public transportation
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