IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some university students want to learn about other subject in addition to their main subject. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that to have a
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
 career path
Punctuation problem
, higer
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higer
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higher
eduction
Use the right word
education
show examples
 is essential.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that several
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 are keen to learn about other
subjects
Use synonyms
in addition
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 to their main one, there is
also
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 an argument that some pupils believe that it is more crucial to put all of
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 time and attention
in
Change preposition
into
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your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 main
subjects
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points and express my opinion. On one hand, the
propnents
Correct your spelling
proponents
 of the
cliam
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claim
 that university students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 want to learn about different educational
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 that are beyond their subject argue that it helps
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to increase their knowledge and
overall
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 enhances their
crtical
Correct your spelling
critical
 thinking and multitasking skills.
This
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 will make them better individuals and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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better
opprtounties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in the future.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 a student
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 studied a science major took
artfical intelligance
Correct your spelling
artificial intelligence
classes
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classes,
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will expand his knowledge and
having
Verb problem
give him
show examples
Correct article usage
an advatnage
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advatnage
Correct your spelling
advantage
 in some
working place
Use the right word
workplace
show examples
 in the future.
On the other hand
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, some think that students should concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
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 their major
subjects
Use synonyms
. Supporters that support
this
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 point of view
manley
Correct your spelling
mainly
 have a
specfic
Correct your spelling
specific
 goal to achieve
which
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, which
show examples
 is to master their major
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is vital because it will increase
there
Use the right word
their
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chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 getting their
desire
Replace the word
desired
show examples
 or dream job.
Moreover
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, spending most of the time in
specfic
Correct your spelling
specific
subjects
Use synonyms
 will make them
of one
Correct word order
one of
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 the top applicants in the
worlds
Fix the agreement mistake
world
show examples
 in their major.
For example
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,
surgeon
Correct article usage
a surgeon
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,
bio chemistry
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biochemistry
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, electrical engineer.
Use the right word
Therefore
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Therefor
Punctuation problem
Therefor,
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 it is important to focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
 subject. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that studying
other
Correct word order
subjects other
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 than your major is important
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, espicially
show examples
espicially
Correct your spelling
especially
 for the future market.

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Grammar
Make sure to correct spelling mistakes and grammar errors (e.g., 'succesful' should be 'successful', 'crtical' should be 'critical').
Content
Ensure your points are clearly developed and supported by specific examples or details. Some arguments could use more explanation.
Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas, like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', or 'However'.
Content
Good overall discussion of the topic and a clear presentation of both sides.
Structure
Your conclusion summarises the main points effectively, expressing a clear opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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