IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The above four pie charts compare the
amount
Use synonyms
 of electricity generated in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 in 2009 from all types and renewable sources measured in kWh. In
Germany
Use synonyms
, conventional thermal
enery
Correct your spelling
energy
 occupied the greatest percentage,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Punctuation problem
contrast,
show examples
 Nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 was mostly generated in
France
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is slightly more than
three-fourth
Use the right word
three-fourths
show examples
 of the total
energy
Use synonyms
 generated.
Convectional
Use the right word
Conventional
show examples
 thermal
energy
Use synonyms
 was generated the least in
France
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is a bit higher than
one tenth
Use the right word
one-tenth
show examples
.
Further
Linking Words
,
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 was generated in both countries. Hydroelectric
energy
Use synonyms
 was generated the most in
Use synonyms
france
Fix capitalization
France
show examples
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
 it was Biomass.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 nearly an equal
amount
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 was produced involving wind and biomass in
Germany
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the least
amount
Use synonyms
 of solar
energy
Use synonyms
 and geothermal
energy
Use synonyms
 was produced in both countries in 2009.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, germany, france, energy with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity generation
  • renewable sources
  • conventional thermal
  • nuclear power
  • hydroelectric power
  • biomass
  • wind energy
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • significant
  • contributor
What to do next:
Look at other essays: