IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

.To improve the quality of education, some people think that we should encourage our students to evaluate and criticise their teachers. Other believe that this will result in loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

In
this
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fast-pace
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fast-paced
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 developing century,
student’s
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students
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 being allowed to criticise and give recommendations to their
teachers
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 has been a hotly
debate
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debated
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 topic.
While
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 some argued that
this
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 means a loss of respect and order in the classroom,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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I support the view that
this
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 development could lead to a better educational experience. On the one hand, there are some people
concerning
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concerned about
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 the loss of regard and discipline
because of
Change preposition
due to
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 major reasons. Two-way feedback between
teachers
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 and learners could possibly result in a lack of regard and discipline. First and foremost, most
students
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 lack emotional maturity and
thorough
Correct article usage
a thorough
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 understanding of the world’s workings to give constructive comments. In case a student is impulsive and immature, he could sabotage the teacher’s reputation by giving injustice criticism if he hosts the teacher for giving him a poor
point
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grade
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 or reprimanding.
Moreover
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, because each student has different opinions, it will be difficult for the teacher to make a unified conclusion about what they
improved
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have improved
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. Leading to confusion and
strenuity
Correct your spelling
stress
 for educators who are trying to establish themselves as better
teachers
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.
On the other hand
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, I agree that empowering
students
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thith
Correct your spelling
with
 the ability to assess their educators could lead to the betterment of education. To start with, the core of education is to serve
students
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 and equip them with more knowledge
,
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;
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thus
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, understanding their insight and needs
are
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apply
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critical is
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is critical
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being
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to being
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 a successful educator. Through learners’ responses,
teachers
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 could refine their methods and make adjustments to their lesson plans to better suit their
students
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, resulting in more educated and motivated learners.
Moreover
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,
this
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 development may be subject to their pedagogical skills
,
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;
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 learning will encounter many creative approaches and become more flexible when handling special cases. To
inclusion
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include
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,
while
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 it is a fact that disrespect and a loss of order could
ensure
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ensue
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 from equipping learners with the power to judge their
teachers
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, the notion’s advantages
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such
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, such
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 as gaining
better
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a better
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 understanding and
innovation
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innovation,
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 have overshadowed the disadvantages.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly present your main ideas in each paragraph. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar carefully to avoid confusion. Some words are misspelled, which can affect the meaning of your sentences.
task achievement
You have shown a good understanding of both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction gives a clear outline of the essay and presents your opinion well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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