6.Some films glorify criminal behaviour which might tempt some people into crime. Do you think such films should be banned?

In recent years, violent
movies
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have raised a major concern
due to
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their potential influence on human behaviour. Some people propose that
such
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films should be banned,
others
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while others
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believe that censorship of
this
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kind undermines individual freedoms.
This
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essay strongly
disagree
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disagrees
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with the statement, as it would infringe on the
freedom
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of both individuals and filmmakers.
To begin
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with, viewers are responsible for their own choices. Adults
aught
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ought
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to be free to watch any type of content without being censored as if they were children.
However
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, reasonable restrictions must be placed for
vulerable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
groups
such
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as teenagers to filter out excessively violent material.
For example
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, if the government launched teenage-oriented programs, it would relieve parents from worrying about their children.
Moreover
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, blaming
movies
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for criminal conduct oversimplifies the root causes of crimes, which in most cases are caused by poverty, unemployment, and peer pressure
,
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;
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thus
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focusing
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, focusing
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solely on films may cause society to overlook real solutions.
Furthermore
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, filmmakers should have the
freedom
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of expression
as
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, as
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limiting their rights would be a violation of that
freedom
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. That means that to express their artistic vision, they should be allowed to explore all aspects of human nature without censorship. Indeed,
movies
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can
be served
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serve
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as warnings by depicting the negative consequences of crime
including
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, including
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, but not limited to, imprisonment, guilt, destruction of families, and the loss
one's
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of one's
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future.
Consequently
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, films can act as cautionary tales rather than sources of encouragement
harmful
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for harmful
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behaviour.
To conclude
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,
although
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some
movies
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may
glamorize
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glamorise
show examples
crime, imposing restrictions on mentally competent adults would violate their rights to
freedom
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of expression and choice.
Instead
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, by implementing fair and targeted regulations for young people who are still in their developmental stage, we can prevent exposure to harmful content without resorting
for
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to
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such
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bans

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have a clear main idea in each paragraph. This can help the reader understand your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words or phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are a bit long and complex. Try to make them shorter and clearer.
task achievement
Consider adding more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Remember to check your spelling and grammar, as some words are misspelled (e.g., 'vulnerable', 'ought').
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and argues well against banning films.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a good balance of ideas about personal freedom and responsibilities.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • glorify
  • criminal behaviour
  • tempt
  • ban
  • influence
  • impressionable
  • emulate
  • consequences
  • glamorous
  • rewarding
  • misleading
  • infringement
  • freedom of expression
  • artistic creativity
  • forbidden fruit allure
  • rating systems
  • parental guidance
  • educational programs
  • balanced narrative
  • socioeconomic conditions
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