IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A high salary is far more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, for individuals having a well-paid job
plays
Wrong verb form
has played
show examples
 an essential role than
work
Use synonyms
 in fulfilment.I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement , as
money
Use synonyms
 is not everything. In my opinion,
money
Use synonyms
 is not everything.To be clear, when employees have a good job with kind, supportive colleagues
as well as
Linking Words
 an understanding boss, they can
work
Use synonyms
 with them for a long time.
For example
Linking Words
, everyone has a tendency to make mistakes in
Correct article usage
the workplaces
show examples
workplaces
Fix the agreement mistake
workplace
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
if
Fix capitalization
If
show examples
 a manager teaches them correctly without any hurtful words, 80% percentage of workers would stay in their workplace.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can lead to a decrease in unemployment.Because, when
people
Use synonyms
pleasure
Check wording
are pleased
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their colleagues,
director
Correct article usage
the director
show examples
 and
work
Use synonyms
place
Use the right word
workplace
show examples
, the majority of workers want to stay. Admittedly,
money
Use synonyms
 is often considered the most powerful source of motivation, since we rely on it for nearly everything.
However
Linking Words
, there are things which we can not buy , like health and time.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 for hours and they can lose their time and health , which they can spend on themselves and their family
instead
Linking Words
.
Money
Use synonyms
 can never replace the fulfilment that comes from meaningful
work
Use synonyms
, because
people
Use synonyms
 want to
work
Use synonyms
 in a place where they can relax and feel safe. If someone works only for
money
Use synonyms
, it usually doesn’t
last
Linking Words
 long.
Thus
Linking Words
, for these reasons,
money
Use synonyms
 is not as important as
people
Use synonyms
 think.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 can be motivation, it cannot replace the fulfilment that comes from meaningful
work
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly, which will help with the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, this will make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Revise your sentences for clarity; some sentences are a bit confusing and can be simplified.
task achievement
You have expressed your opinion clearly, and your introduction sets the stage for your argument.
task achievement
You have good examples about the value of teamwork and well-being in the workplace.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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