IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that in order to solve traffic and transportation problems people should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The issue of
traffic
Use synonyms
 and transportation challenges has sparked a widespread debate in recent times, with some suggesting that promoting people to move from
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
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 of town to
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
Use synonyms
center
Use the right word
centre
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 can be a sustainable solution. I partly agree with
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
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, as living in a
city
Use synonyms
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the need for long-distance
daily
Check wording
daily travel
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 trips.
However
Linking Words
, I am more inclined to believe that other long-term measures,
such
Linking Words
 as the development of transport
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 in the suburbs, would be more practical and convenient. One compelling reason why citizens should relocate to urban
centers
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centres
show examples
 is that it could significantly reduce commuting time and
traffic
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 congestion. When people live closer to their workplaces or
educational
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educational institutions
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institutions
Change preposition
In institutions
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, the necessity for long-distance travel by private car decreases, thereby easing pressure on road networks and lowering time consumption.
This
Linking Words
 is exemplified by major
cities
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 like Seoul, where a high percentage of residents in
metropolitan
Correct article usage
the metropolitan
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 area live near public transport stations and efficiently commute, resulting in less reliance on personal vehicles and
smother
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smoother
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traffic
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 flow.
Therefore
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,
this
Linking Words
 strategy can be a useful step forward in tackling transport-related problems, especially in megacities.  Despite its potential, relocating all residents to the
Use synonyms
center
Use the right word
centre
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 cannot be
completely
Correct article usage
a completely
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 profitable and long-term solution
in
Change preposition
for
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 eliminating
traffic
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 issues. Since mass migration causes overpopulation, housing shortage, and environmental pollution, urban
areas
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 may fail to accommodate the rising
population
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 needs.
This
Linking Words
, in turn, can lead to increased living costs and a decline in the
overall
Linking Words
 quality of urban life. Shanghai can stand out as a notable example, where concentrating the
population
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 in the
city
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Use synonyms
center
Use the right word
centre
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 has overwhelmed
infrastructure
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, driven up real estate prices, and contributed to severe air pollution.
Thus
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the policy sounds promising, it may not effectively reach or benefit the entire
population
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. I firmly believe that expanding
infrastructure
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 in rural
areas
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 would be practically useful in
this
Linking Words
 case. With governments investing in better roads, public transport, and essential services in countryside regions, citizens are less likely to move to overcrowded
cities
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 and can find
perspective
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prospective
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 jobs outside the
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center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
. The direct results of
this
Linking Words
 are not confined to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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 pressure on urban
cities
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 but
also
Linking Words
 extend to improved quality of life in remote
areas
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, ultimately resulting in balanced
population
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 distribution and fewer
traffic
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-
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 related issues. Megapolises can exemplify
this
Linking Words
 approach well, as
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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 developed regional
areas
Use synonyms
 with convenience comparable to those in
city
Use synonyms
centers
Use the right word
centres
show examples
, which
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the need
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 relocate.
This
Linking Words
 approach appears to be more realistic, addressing the practical needs of a broader group of commuters. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 migration to urban
cities
Use synonyms
 may contribute to reducing
traffic
Use synonyms
 and commuting time, its practicality remains limited
due to
Linking Words
 overcrowding, increased housing costs and environmental damage. In my opinion, a more effective way would be for governments to improve
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 in the suburbs.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects to your main idea and supports your argument more directly. Try to provide clearer links between your points and the overall thesis of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and detail throughout your essay to show your understanding of the issue and to support your arguments more strongly. This will make your points more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction summarizes the key points that you will discuss in the essay. This helps the reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
You present a clear position on the topic and provide logical reasons for your views.
task achievement
Your use of examples from cities adds credibility to your argument and shows you have thought about real-world implications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public transportation
  • traffic congestion
  • private vehicles
  • urban areas
  • long commutes
  • population density
  • sustainable transportation
  • efficient transportation options
  • cycling lanes
  • pedestrian pathways
  • advanced transit systems
  • overcrowding
  • transportation infrastructure
  • urban development
  • pollution
  • quality of life
What to do next:
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