In today's competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents' absence. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Knowledge

Use synonyms

plays an important role in people’s lives all around the world. Some people believe that universities should concentrate more on

skills

Use synonyms

which can be used

Change preposition

show examples

the workplace

level

Check wording

apply

show examples

However

Linking Words

, others claim that more emphasis should be given to academic

knowledge

Use synonyms

. I firmly believe that job-related

skills

Use synonyms

should be given more importance as they help in building successful careers.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine the given argument before reaching a conclusion. There are various factors which favour learning more employment-related

skills

Use synonyms

college

Correct article usage

the college

show examples

level.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it will help students to survive in the job market.

For example

Linking Words

, if a student knows some critical thinking and problem-solving

skills

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, it will help them evaluate their tasks at work.

As a result

Linking Words

, it will lead to better efficiency and results

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

hence

Linking Words

creating

Wrong verb form

create

show examples

a better impression.

Therefore

Linking Words

, students will be able to succeed in their professional lives.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, academic education involves only theoretical facts and learning. But it does not provide any practical

knowledge

Use synonyms

which can help children

Verb problem

apply

show examples

apply it in their real world.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they are unable to gain some hands-on experience

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

may hinder their progress.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is necessary to include some

skills

Use synonyms

that may help them pursue their careers in amazing fields.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people argue that academic learning is as useful as job-related

skills

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because it helps students to understand theories and frameworks that they can use in real-life situations.

For example

Linking Words

, the strength-based approach in the social work field plays an inevitable role in social work practice, but it is

also

Linking Words

important to understand it theoretically before applying it practically. In conclusion, to gain some critical and analytical insights into the employment market, universities should include some practical

skills

Use synonyms

Nonetheless

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, the role played by academic

knowledge

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can’t be denied

Punctuation problem

, too

show examples

too

Rephrase

either

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is important to focus on both

skills

Use synonyms

with

Punctuation problem

, with

show examples

more emphasis on job-related

skills

Use synonyms

preetkiran6258

Jul 18, 2025

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task response

Your introduction clearly states your position, which is good. However, it could be more concise. Aim to make it clearer and more straightforward.

coherence cohesion

In your conclusion, summarize your main points briefly. This will help reinforce your argument.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea. Some points are good, but you need to explain them further and connect them better to your thesis.

task response

You have presented a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument. This shows good critical thinking.

task response

Your use of examples helps to illustrate your points, making your argument more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dual-income household
financial stability
extracurricular activities
role models
self-reliance
independent
emotional well-being
work-life balance
neglected
quality time

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