Many people believe that family has the strongest influence on a child's development while others believe that external factors such as televisions, friends and music, play a big role. Discuss Both views and give your opinion

Few individuals assert that family is influential in the development of a

kid

Check wording

child

show examples

whereas

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others reckon that external factors

such

Linking Words

as television, companions and music have

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

impact on them. I believe that both aspects are valid and convincing as

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

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manners depend on

family's

Correct article usage

the family's

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upbringing,

while

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digital

Correct article usage

the digital

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world and their peer group attract them

Change preposition

to at

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Use the right word

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larger

Correct word choice

greater

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extent to

Correct article usage

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unreal trap. The primary reason why family members

playing for

Wrong verb form

play

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the

Correct article usage

show examples

pivotal role in developing their ward is that in the early years,

family

Correct article usage

the family

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spends most of the time with the juvenile

Linking Words

due

Punctuation problem

, due

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to which their teachings get ingrained in

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

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character. To be more precise, parents are responsible

to instill

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for instilling

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moral values in their offspring. Being together, they share close relationships with each other. Provided that children's manners mainly depend on how their parents bring them up. Having a peaceful environment at home fosters better development of kids, physically, mentally, psychologically and socially.

This

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facilitates them to develop their life

according to

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their familial values. External factors,

on the other hand

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, fascinate kids to learn new skills through them. TV shows and music enable young speculators to encounter

with

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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topics which are unknown to them in order to

acknowledge

Verb problem

keep

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them with the latest trends.

Also

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, the peer group has a strong influence on one's development as an individual

Correct subject-verb agreement

follows

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their instructions without knowing the consequences.

Although

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such

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developmental sources are impractical,

yet

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they bound the learners in their horizon. In conclusion, as per my perspective, both

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

pursuits are equally important as it is the responsibility of the family to teach their wards good manners,

wilst

Correct your spelling

whilst

external factors are attractive traps for developmental aspects of a kid.

gurkhushchahal1606

Jul 18, 2025

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task achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and the main points you will discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words to connect your ideas more clearly. Words like 'however', 'moreover', and 'firstly' can help.

task achievement

Try to give more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific shows or trends that influence children.

task achievement

You presented both sides of the argument, which is very good for understanding the topic.

task achievement

Your points about family and external factors are important and relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

primary influence
models of behavior
instill
cultural norms
emotional support
mass media
perspectives
social skills
popular culture
sense of identity
healthy development
foundation
culmination
interactions

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Many people believe that family has the strongest influence on a child's development while others believe that external factors such as televisions, friends and music, play a big role. Discuss Both views and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

An increasing number of profectional such as teachers and doctors are leaving their own poooer countries to work in developing countries. What are the reasons for this trend?

In some countries the number of police officers in active service is decreasing. What do you think maybe the reason for this? What effects might this have on society?