IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The line graph gives information about the number of Iranian, Greek and Turkish students who enrolled at Sheffield University between 2005 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph gives information about the number of Iranian, Greek and Turkish students who enrolled at Sheffield University between 2005 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Analyzing
Use the right word
Analysing
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 the information here reveals a lot of
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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. The number of Iranian , Greek and Turkish
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 who enrolled at Sheffield
university
Fix capitalization
University
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 between 2005 and 2009. It is surprising to notice that there is a sharp rise in 2005 of Greece students here, a reader can see that there is similarity between Iran and Turkey in 2005 it is clearly seen there slow decrease in 2009 of Greece 40% of student and the highest one is Iran in 2009 and the lowest on Greece in 2009 as the graph shows.
To sum up
Linking Words
, if we hold a comparison dealing with shows number of Iranian , Greek and Turkish students who enrolled at Sheffield
university
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University
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, we can
concluded
Wrong verb form
conclude
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 that there is a big difference between them.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Enrolled
  • Enrollments
  • Trend
  • Steady increase
  • Initial increase
  • Decline
  • Sharp increase
  • Peaking
  • Noteworthy comparison
  • Contrasting trends
  • Period
  • Given period
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