IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Bar Chart Showing Capital Expenditure from Foreign Direct Investment in India and China between 2014 and 2019

The chart illustrates the level of arts investment in
India
Use synonyms
 and
China
Use synonyms
 between 2014 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
 was decreasing
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 investment over the years. By 2018,
China
Use synonyms
 reached the highest
point
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 period.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
, between 2014 to 2016, was increasing. In 2015,
India
Use synonyms
 had the highest investment,
while
Linking Words
 in 2014 it recorded the lowest
point
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Punctuation problem
with,
show examples
 the high and lowest points,
China
Use synonyms
 had the highest
point
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
equaled
Use the right word
equalled
show examples
 140.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2017 and
2019
Punctuation problem
2019,
show examples
 it reached
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 lowest, around 50.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
India
Use synonyms
’s highest
point
Use synonyms
 was in 2015, at around 65, and the lowest
point
Use synonyms
 was in 2014, which
equaled
Use the right word
equalled
show examples
 30. Between 2015 to 2016,
India
Use synonyms
was dropping
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 from 65 to 60.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
was increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 from 60 to 65.
Then
Linking Words
, between 2018 to 2019,
China
Use synonyms
 had a strong
falling
Replace the word
fall
show examples
 from 130 to 40.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Add a clear introduction that outlines what the chart shows in a more detailed way.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly discusses one main point or idea.
Task Achievement
Include relevant data points in your explanations, ensuring they support your overall claims.
Task Achievement
You provided some specific numbers from the chart, which is good for showing information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a comparison between India and China, which is a key aspect of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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