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Writing Samples
Band 5

Essay topics: In some countries, more and more adults are living with their parents after graduating from college , University or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

In many countries, it is becoming more common for young
adults
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 to continue living with their
parents
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 even after graduating from university or starting a job.
While
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this
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 may have some benefits, I believe the disadvantages outweigh them, especially in terms of independence and personal development. Living with
parents
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 for too long may negatively impact a young person's self-esteem and decision-making skills. When they constantly rely on their
parents
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 to solve problems, they may not develop the confidence or experience needed to face challenges independently.
For example
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, young
adults
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 who live alone often learn to manage their finances, time, and responsibilities better, which prepares them for the real world.
On the other hand
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, living with
parents
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 can provide emotional and financial support.
Parents
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 often share their life
experience
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experiences
show examples
 and advice, which can guide young
adults
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 in important life decisions.
This
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 can be especially helpful for those who are still figuring out their career paths or saving money for future plans.
Although
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 living with
parents
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 can offer some benefits, I believe that the drawbacks—
such
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 as limited independence and personal growth—make it less
favorable
Use the right word
favourable
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 in the long term. Young
adults
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 should be encouraged to live independently once they are financially able to do so.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction is clear, but try to make your position stronger. You can state your opinion clearly from the start. Also, adding a few details in the conclusion will help.
task achievement
When you present your points, try to give more examples or real-life situations. This helps back up your ideas and makes them clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you connect your ideas with linking words. This will help your reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
You have presented a clear opinion on the topic. Your points show your understanding of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing flows well overall, and you have good sentence structure in many places.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • boomerang generation
  • financial security
  • mutual dependence
  • nurturing environment
  • multi-generational households
  • intergenerational bonding
  • cultural heritage
  • autonomy
  • interpersonal conflicts
  • social norms
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