IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

I haven't
prove
Use the right word
proven
show examples
 it by
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
Correct article usage
a scientifically
show examples
scientifically
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 report about the benefits of longer
Use synonyms
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
 for workers. I will try to give
point
Correct article usage
a point
show examples
 of view as a working mom,
I'm not
Use the right word
I don't
show examples
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because for
me
Punctuation problem
me,
show examples
 two
days
Use synonyms
 of full free
time
Use synonyms
 from my
work
Use synonyms
 is enough. I will
maximize
Use the right word
maximise
show examples
 my
time
Use synonyms
 with family and hobbies on the
weekend
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 two
days
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 enough, one for fun activities and the other day for a good rest to recharge before
monday
Fix capitalization
Monday
show examples
. But the
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 and conditions are
first,
Linking Words
the
weekend
Use synonyms
 should be 100% free from
work
Use synonyms
 or any other
distruptions
Correct your spelling
disruptions
 and
second,
Linking Words
on the weekdays I have to
strict
Use the right word
stick
show examples
 to the schedule of 9 am to 5 pm
work
Use synonyms
, and
the
Rephrase
lastly
show examples
last
Linking Words
minimalize
Verb problem
minimise
show examples
over-
Use the right word
overtime
show examples
time
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 on the weekdays. I believe in
work
Use synonyms
 and life balance with good
time
Use synonyms
management
Punctuation problem
management,
show examples
that
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 people sometimes don't bother and just go with the flow without
plan
Replace the word
planning
show examples
 it out. In Indonesia,
for example
Linking Words
 have a lot of long weekends usually for special
religion
Replace the word
religious
show examples
holiday
Fix the agreement mistake
holidays
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the
time
Use synonyms
 that I will use to
subtitute
Correct your spelling
substitute
 my presence in the family and have good quality
time
Use synonyms
 with them. I'm afraid
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
 the benefits
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the
disadvantages
Punctuation problem
disadvantages,
show examples
 it will upset business owners, since they have to pay full salary but with
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 working hours for their employees. It will have
domino
Correct article usage
a domino
show examples
 effect
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the economy in the country since most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 will be off more than two
days
Use synonyms
. I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 better
working place
Check wording
workplace
show examples
arrangement
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangements
show examples
 rather than
add
Wrong verb form
adding
show examples
 more
days
Use synonyms
 to the
weekend
Use synonyms
. I like the idea that several places try to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 their employee to
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 from anywhere as long as they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 keep up with their KPI.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main idea in the introduction. It helps the reader know your position right away.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should have one main idea and supporting sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple transitions like 'firstly,' 'additionally,' or 'in conclusion' to guide your reader through your ideas.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your ideas, especially when you express concerns about short working weeks and their effects.
positive
You present a clear personal viewpoint as a working mom, which brings a unique perspective to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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