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Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.
Analysing the information here reveals a lot of points . The chart below
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 the proportions of British students at on university in England who
where
Use the right word
were
show examples
 able to speak other
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
 to English , in 2000 and 2010 . It is surprising to notice that there is a sharp rise in
chart
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
 below . Here , a reader can deduce that there is a difference between Spanish
only
Correct word choice
and only
show examples
 in 35 and 30 . It is clearly seen that there is a slow increase in
Another
Fix capitalization
another
show examples
 language as the pie shows .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , it was decreased in
No
Fix capitalization
no
show examples
 other languages in 2010 .
To sum up
Linking Words
 , if we hold a comparison dealing with shows the proportion of British students at on university in England who
where
Use the right word
were
show examples
 able to speak other
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
 to English , in 2000 and 2010 , we can conclude that there is a big difference between them . The highest in 2000 is Spanish only
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the lowest is German only .

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • British students
  • university
  • speaking other languages
  • language proficiency
  • overall trends
  • comparison
  • 2000
  • 2010
  • chart
  • data
  • percentage
  • significant
  • increase
  • decrease
  • noteworthy
  • comparative analysis
  • improvement
  • decline
  • conclusion
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